But it was the weirdest thing.
I missed running.
I like what training my body to do something hard had done for me. I hated that my marathon completion didn't feel like a real victory. (I walked the last five miles feeling like I was going to puke and barely clocked a sub-five, soooo.) I thought, I can do better. I registered for a half-marathon. I broke the sub-two threshold. I thought, I might be a runner. But I won't know for sure until I finish another marathon, this time the right way.
I started training on September 5. I'm using the Hal Higdon Intermediate I plan, which is new for me because I have never worked out six days a week before. I asked my cousin--a Higdon devotee--why there were so many junk miles in the plan, and he rhetorically inquired what a junk mile was. I'm still in the shiny and enthusiastic phase where nothing hurts too much yet, I'm seeing immediate gains, and the mileage isn't so long that I can't have a social life. The temperature and the light outside is perfect. I know it's about to get harder, and then much, much harder.
Support makes running easier, though. My mom and my sister came to cheer me on last year, and I could have cried when I saw their faces on Main Street USA. This year I recruited my brother to run, and he texts me his running diary. My boyfriend gives me wake up calls to make sure I get going on time for those early morning workouts, and he always listens attentively when I am droning on about plyometric exercises and injury worries and how I think I'm getting faster. "You are getting faster!" he texts me, with a bicep emoji.
If I'm a runner, I'm still a relatively new one. I feel like there's so much I don't know. How long and at what intensity should I bike on my cross-training days? What rep and weight goals should I have for my strength training regimen? Is it okay if I don't do my long runs slowly so long as I'm doing a speed and intensity that feels good? Is it really necessary that I use protein powder if I'm consuming 50 grams of protein a day anyway? I don't own a foam roller--am I actually really a runner?
When I don't feel like running, I listen to Kelly Roberts' pep talks. She reminds me that running is not complicated, but it is still important, because it is a tool to help us understand ourselves and strengthen our character. I listen to podcasts about history, or culture, or technology, or faith. I listen to hymns or worship songs. Sometimes I run without anything in my ears, and I breathe deep and look at the sky and focus on my footfall. Sometimes I pray.
How running helps me work out my faith is a very strange thing. I don't feel like it's accurate to call myself a runner. I feel like I'm never far from breaking the routine I've created: I skip one run and that's it, I've fallen off the wagon. But it's funny that I don't feel it's inaccurate to call myself a Christian. I've been trying to be one my whole life, after all. And yet, for the month of September, it might be accurate to say I've been more faithful to my training schedule than my daily devotional. I am hopeful that learning how to discipline myself to be a runner will help me discipline myself to be a better Christ follower. Much good running advice is also good faith advice: don't try to do more than you can, remember your why, push yourself to your mental limit, acknowledge your limitations, rest and refuel, keep trying and don't become discouraged.
I think running is good for my body, and my mental wellbeing, but I think the most compelling reason to stick with running is that it seems to be good for my faith.
runDisney remains prohibitively expensive. Because of my work schedule, I am flying in late Friday night, cheering on my brother Saturday morning, picking up my bib Saturday afternoon, running Sunday morning, flying out Sunday afternoon. Because my mom is a genius, we are staying at Hilton Bonnet Creek, where their marathon rates allow for late checkout at 2pm. Also proximity to Disney Springs should give us something fun to do Saturday afternoon during our down time. Flight + ground transportation + hotel + race registration means this weekend will cost approximately a grand per person--yikes!
But I'm a little boujie, and everyone needs their carrot on a stick.
