Saturday, November 13, 2010

My God is so BIG!

I have not have a complete thought. You know how many drafts are idling here? 72. Since the start of school. I have so much to talk about! But nothing to say.

I went to work on Veterans' Day. The techs watched "Prince of Egypt" in the back, I heard one asking incredulously of the other, "This really happened?" -- "No, it's just a story." He shakes his head and says he doesn't understand how people can believe in religion, and I empathize. My head is quick to defend -- existence, evidence, experience all come rushing to mind, but my heart knows, it's too much to ask. Through all He's done, we've done so much to undo it.

What a testimony. A history of irreverence unravels human credibility. It seems so fantastic . . .

A friend is trying to convince me that the 9/11 attacks were really a government cover-up, showing me the movie "Loose Change". It's ridiculous. Even if their support weren't pure equivocation and shoddy research, faulting the government for factual anomalies is clearly non sequitur. And in an interview I watched of the authors of a book that debunked the conspiracy, they mentioned the 9/11 conspiracy uses the same appeals as creationists: a few gaps in the fossil record doesn't equal a creator. Just as I scoff at "Loose Change", finding the idea to ridiculous to entertain, they feel the same of the thought of a God.

And so I empathize. It seems impossible. Despite the evidence it's just too giant to believe. Its implications are earth-shattering. It's easier to dismiss God as sensationalism. It's too much, too much to indulge.

But it aches, you must know how much it aches, to be faced every day with the divide: you who have found hope and renewal and truth coexist with those that seem so far away from the truth because it's just so big.

So pray for Jimmy.

I watch the faces of people I pass on the quad out of the corner of my eye. Will it be her, God? Is he next? Whom will You touch, God? How will You use me next?

1 comment:

Kaitlyn said...

I sympathize with you, Hayley, and I also appreciate your encouragement...