So I have this glitch. Where once I decide against something, I'm committed to my boycott. Even when my justifications for said boycott become so obscure in my mind that I can't even remember them. Even when I become persuaded against my boycott. Once I am grounded in abstention, I cannot be moved, not even by my own self!
[I think this is because I resolve things so seldom. I have the resolution of a frog. Most of the time I just can't be bothered!]
I mean, of course, only with inconsequential things. Like with Twitter. And skinny jeans. I remember when skinny jeans first came back into vogue. The GAP commercials, with the Audrey Hepburn silhouette. At the start, these jeans were high-waisted and tapered at the bottom, which made them look a little too much like mom-jeans. I was certain this was a passing fad, and I was not going to be swindled into buying a pair of jeans that would cease to be trendy in nine months.
But, they hung on longer than I expected. And they're just so perfect for wearing with boots! My heart gradually softened towards skinny jeans, it was practically pudding-y with approval, but I couldn't bring myself to justify the purchase: I had vowed never to buy skinny jeans! And I couldn't break that promise now! [Because I really do keep so few promises to myself . . .]
And of course, Twitter. I made my obligatory account so I could stalk [I mean, follow] my favorite people and download some free music. But I vowed that I would never tweet. Surely short-form communication was too transient to really catch on, and really, how narcissistic to feed a steady commentary of my day to day life onto the internet. [People already think I'm a psychopath without hearing half of my inane observations.]
But see, I now have the greatest idea for a Twitter shtick, and thanks to Siobhan's inspiration I feel like I can justify dressing like a hipster since there is a severe extinction of hipsters at my school. The assumption here being, that skinny jeans are irreconcilably hipster. An assumption I think it is fair to make.
[I am realizing I have an embarrassing obsession with hipsters.]
[See, that's the kind of thing I would have totally tweeted!]
I resist jumping on the bandwagon of things that have the potential to be lame when they stop being novel. I'm into wait-and-see. Twitter was for lame people when it first started. I didn't want to be lame! Skinny jeans had the markings of the short-lived 2000's trend. I didn't want to look stupid in old family photos! I didn't want to be doing what everyone else was doing just because everyone else was doing it. [Geez. Such a hipster.] But I see their value now. The thing is, it's too late. I can't seem to undo my resolution.
[I would have put an emoticon up there, because a teasing, smirky face would have signaled my tone so perfectly, but, I felt like that would be throwing away my last vestiges of professionalism. Self-respecting bloggers save emoticons for quirky, self-indulgent posts. But this, this is serious. Oh my gosh, I have such PROBLEMS. :P]