Monday, January 10, 2011

Twitter & Skinny Jeans

So I have this glitch. Where once I decide against something, I'm committed to my boycott. Even when my justifications for said boycott become so obscure in my mind that I can't even remember them. Even when I become persuaded against my boycott. Once I am grounded in abstention, I cannot be moved, not even by my own self!

[I think this is because I resolve things so seldom. I have the resolution of a frog. Most of the time I just can't be bothered!]

I mean, of course, only with inconsequential things. Like with Twitter. And skinny jeans. I remember when skinny jeans first came back into vogue. The GAP commercials, with the Audrey Hepburn silhouette. At the start, these jeans were high-waisted and tapered at the bottom, which made them look a little too much like mom-jeans. I was certain this was a passing fad, and I was not going to be swindled into buying a pair of jeans that would cease to be trendy in nine months.

But, they hung on longer than I expected. And they're just so perfect for wearing with boots! My heart gradually softened towards skinny jeans, it was practically pudding-y with approval, but I couldn't bring myself to justify the purchase: I had vowed never to buy skinny jeans! And I couldn't break that promise now! [Because I really do keep so few promises to myself . . .]

And of course, Twitter. I made my obligatory account so I could stalk [I mean, follow] my favorite people and download some free music. But I vowed that I would never tweet. Surely short-form communication was too transient to really catch on, and really, how narcissistic to feed a steady commentary of my day to day life onto the internet. [People already think I'm a psychopath without hearing half of my inane observations.]

But see, I now have the greatest idea for a Twitter shtick, and thanks to Siobhan's inspiration I feel like I can justify dressing like a hipster since there is a severe extinction of hipsters at my school. The assumption here being, that skinny jeans are irreconcilably hipster. An assumption I think it is fair to make.

[I am realizing I have an embarrassing obsession with hipsters.]

[See, that's the kind of thing I would have totally tweeted!]

I resist jumping on the bandwagon of things that have the potential to be lame when they stop being novel. I'm into wait-and-see. Twitter was for lame people when it first started. I didn't want to be lame! Skinny jeans had the markings of the short-lived 2000's trend. I didn't want to look stupid in old family photos! I didn't want to be doing what everyone else was doing just because everyone else was doing it. [Geez. Such a hipster.] But I see their value now. The thing is, it's too late. I can't seem to undo my resolution.

Pity me.

[I would have put an emoticon up there, because a teasing, smirky face would have signaled my tone so perfectly, but, I felt like that would be throwing away my last vestiges of professionalism. Self-respecting bloggers save emoticons for quirky, self-indulgent posts. But this, this is serious. Oh my gosh, I have such PROBLEMS. :P]


Micah E. said...

I like this post (probably because it mentions hipsters, whom I also have an embarrassing obsession with)

Hayley, just do things you like.

(I don't need to explain how I don't mean that as blanketingly as it sounds)

I refused to wear silly-bandz because I knew they were going to end as soon as school started again. And because it was the most ridiculously unjustified waste of a dollar to buy a pack.

I think, Hayley, you should get skinny jeans. And if you can't bring yourself to do that, then have someone who knows your sizes buy you a pair as a gift (be honest, if they got the size wrong, you'd return them for non-skinny jeans, wouldn't you?)

Michael said...

Hu. This is very Feeler of you, I think. I cannot comprehend it, really. I have so little emotionally invested in (most of) my inane decisions that as soon as the justification for them is gone, I can swing in totally the opposite direction. (e. g: name tags. I wear them all the time, now. I credit you with this)

The end of your post is awesome. (dare I say it reminds me of myself? Or . . . I know exactly how that end of the post went, I know that moment.)

Don't buy some skinny jeans. Not because it would be getting on a bandwagon (you do hate bandwagons), but because they're lame. Actually, I jsut realized I don't really think they're lame and the more I think about it, the more I like them, I was just saying that to be contrary. Psh. Buy some skinny Jeans.

Nicole said...

I am rather ambivalent towards skinny jeans. I shall never wear them unless I magically wake up one day as Twiggy. Then I might consider it. But you could totally pull it off. As for Twitter, I should adore it if you started tweeting.

By the same token though, I understand the desire to keep your promise to yourself. But if you break the promise, just tell yourself it's the hipster thing to do and move on.

Hayley said...

"Hayley, just do things you like." LIBERATION.

"And because it was the most ridiculously unjustified waste of a dollar to buy a pack." Obviously you weren't acquainted with any small children who adored you enough to give you some of theirs.

"(e. g: name tags. I wear them all the time, now. I credit you with this)" :smile:

"I was just saying that to be contrary." Dude! Way to steal my thing! We can't reverse our dialectic here!

"But if you break the promise, just tell yourself it's the hipster thing to do and move on." Nicole, you are brilliant. Scapegoat acquired. [And hipsterness is just THE perfect scapegoat.]