I am smitten, completely smitten with my sister's guitar. It will probably lose its novelty shortly, and after that, my interest will be gone as well, but for now I am enchanted with its portability, its versatility, its ease of use. I love how forcing my fingers into foreign chords makes me retreat into the piano, how it makes me pursue mastery of that neglected instrument, too. I love sitting at the piano making music with my sister, or clumsily following her on guitar, our voices converging in worship. "We are the broken, You are the healer. Jesus, Redeemer, mighty to save."
I lack so much resolve, I never seem to master things I'm not good at. I'm so lazy, I generally give up when it doesn't come naturally. And this is me with instruments: I've never pushed for mastery because I was contented with the diagnosis of ineptitude.
I think of Spanish, too. I've taken so much Spanish, you'd think I'd at least be able to claim proficiency. Instead I stare at Bryna's SPA 102 homework and wonder how I can weasel out of URI's language requirement. Which is really ridiculous, because if I want to be an immigration lawyer, speaking a language in addition to English is kind of imperative. The point here being, I have a vague desire to learn Spanish, but my efforts have never amounted to substantial comprehension. Because I am unwilling to endure the struggle to learn.
Lilly explained on that lengthy trip to Virginia last summer, that mastery is not dependent on genius, but rather that practice and precision and discipline are the stepping stones to achievement. Or something like that. And I think I was skeptical of her position, first because people like John Nash exist, but also because it was too convicting of a prospect, that effort really is everything. And I'm still not really sure. But, your IQ doesn't need to be through the ceiling to be proficient at a language or an instrument. And the conviction grows in my stomach every time that guitar case looms in the corner of my eye.
Okay, so, my infatuation with her new toy is already dying.
Nevertheless, thanks to that glossy instrument, I pulled out my Spanish textbooks today. Did a few hours of Rosetta Stone, too. I even messed around on the piano. The pursuit of self-discipline will hopefully have a few practical side effects.