Concern

My husband read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, but it was before we were even dating, so I didn't get the benefit of his audible processing of the material. My friend turned sister-in-law* also read Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and she got to me first with this message:

We each have a circle of concern and a circle of influence. If we focus on our circle of concern, our anxiety and powerlessness will expand until we are so immobilized that our circle of influence shrinks. Conversely, if we focus on our circle of influence, it will continue to expand until we have more control over the things that concern us. 

This blew my mind. 

Because how often have I dreamed of hiding away from it all? Just finding myself a spot of earth in the middle of nowhere, so I could live simply and quietly, not hurt anyone and not be hurt by anyone. Sometimes I just want to disappear. If I can't make the world a better place and alleviate any suffering, why should I even be here, making things worse with my shallow existence?  

Reading the news and cringing at all the pain in the world, both up close and far away. A client struggles to come up with $20 additional dollars to pay for the required flu vaccine. Getting texts from my former admin at the public defender's office about a frequent flyer client. Uighur people in China in modern-day concentration camps. Refugees and asylum seekers biding their time in the crime-plagued border towns. Families I love battling autoimmune diseases, mental health episodes, financial hardships, and relationship dysfunctions. The persecuted church. 

Bad things happen. The world is broken. We are broken. The only place we can go to escape the weight of all these brokenness is the arms of Jesus and the seat of His promises that He is coming back for us and He is making all things right. 

So, there is an escape. And that escape is not daydreams about traveling or backpacking, it is not the zany antics of Malcolm's family. The escape isn't online shopping or cooking or yoga or face masks. Not that any of these things are bad or wrong, but I am still using them to soothe an anxiety that they cannot soothe! 

The escape is in obedience to Jesus. In remembering and encouraging my friends. In taking care of my husband. In working as unto Him in my job. In praying for those who suffer and are persecuted. In studying His words and promises that I will not forget what He said. In serving strangers with my time and money. 

Only He can help me grow my circle of influence so I am not swallowed up entirely by my circle of concern. Only He is my escape. 

*If you are the wife of her husband's brother, you are sisters-in-law, and this is the dream of most friends, that you marry a pair of attractive brothers and your kiddos grow up as cousins, I am living that dream, y'all!