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Thursday, July 23, 2009

And to Him be glory forever

I have been so happy. I wonder if it's the jar of Nutella in the cupboard downstairs, or the fact that Christian is visiting, or maybe I'm still on the missions trip high, or that my friends are still as wonderful as always. But I cannot give any of those things credit for the joy that's simmering inside. And despite being so happy, I've had a few low points. Seeing the evil in this world and realizing it's me, feeling the creeping cynicism seep into each aspect of my hopes for the future, looking my sin in the face, I can't help but spiral down into sadness. The stress that comes from laziness, the hurt that comes from hurting others, in a flicker I go from buoyancy to feeling heavy-hearted.

But God in all His mercy does not let me collapse into myself in my guilt, instead He turns the tables. I say, "God, oh, God, my sin!" He says, "My Son died." I say, "But God, my mistakes!" He says, "My Son rose again." I say, "I'm confused and I'm blind, God." He says, "Look at my glory." It is not about how I have failed and how I will fail, but about the God who fixes failures. The holy and faithful God of grace and justice. The God who is so good, we cannot understand the depth or reason of His goodness. He renews my spirit, gives me peace, fills my heart. And in an instant it is clear and simple. God is there, and God is good.

I have a lot of little things to be happy about. I have a lot of little things to be sad about, too. It doesn't matter, when my beautiful Savior fills my landscape I take joy in the only thing I see.


5 comments:

Meagan said...

Amen!

These are some amazing realizations and it's so encouraging to read about them.

Lala said...

Amen 2 ! haha

truly words of truth!
i feel the same way....stupid politics!
but thanks to God i can still have joy in him
and be happy :)

ooooo hehe....nutella?

Caitriona aka Catherine said...

Sometimes you can't just read the words, when they touch the very heart of the matter concerning the battle between the spirit and the flesh. To the words you have written, I say YES Hayley, this is truth, hang on to it and thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.
Bless you my child.
Mrs. Mullaney

Elizabeth said...

Side note: Funny...the youtube lady was singing about joy and happiness and she looked depressed the whole time. That is intense. :P [/side note]

I know what you mean...it's dieing to sin everyday - and that is living the Christian Life.

And I also know what you mean when you say that God makes it all clear and simple. He can turn my most confusing and worried, faithless thoughts and just say a word or two and it's like day to night.

Love you, Hayley! <3

Art said...

:) (imagine that as a contented and hopeful smile, a smile where your eyes are full of light, the light that only truth can bring.)

When I read this last afternoon, the only part I could process was the song, which is beautiful. Today, the words you wrote are meaningful as well. Thank you.