I went dragging my feet, fussing that I had to give up two hours of my precious summer weekends to shoot guns in a musty building. But, I missed it, I really had. Once there I got sucked in again, once again romanced by the spicy smell of gunpowder and the thrill of pulling the trigger. (I am not a maniac. Your lives are safe.) But as I got back into the rhythm -- load, breathe, lift, lock, squeeze -- shooting at the gun club became a sport of subconscious concentration, while my mind was elsewhere. It's outrageous the way my thoughts run away with me, but for once I could commend the path they took me down.
I thought about Michael and how glad I was he likes House of Heroes so much. I thought of Micah and how he's beasting NaNoWriJuly. I thought of Rebecca and how much I want her to come to my house and teach me to sew. I thought of Katie and Kristen and Kara and how I can't believe they're leaving and how much I'll miss them. I thought about Lilly and Hannah and Mary Claire, what kindred spirits they are and how much I identify with them. I thought about Luke and how I can't believe I haven't talked to him in a while, darned summer. I thought of Jake and his genius idea for a speech that's proved interesting to research. I thought of Andrew and how deeply I wished I could have gone to his graduation party today. I thought of Jesse and how I wished I knew him better. I thought of Nathan and how he's going to beast speech this coming year. I thought about Liz and how she really needs to start blogging.
And that's just the blogosphere, folks.
I am surrounded by people so dear to me, wonderful people, people who love God. They love God. I remember when I was much much younger, coming home from church and crying in my closet, pitying myself for my lack of friends and wanting so desperately to go to school, because maybe then I'd have friends. Ah, silly girl. And yet despite my indulgently self-centered sorrow then, in the now I have been abundantly blessed. A Passion for Wisdom speaks of a fickle God who failed to be faithful to His people -- an idea I can't help but scorn, especially in the face of how He has given me exactly what I wanted. I have dear friends who love God. Few things on this earth are more precious to me. God is so faithful . . . I don't understand why He should care. Friends for Hayley, friends who love God, that must be rather low on the list of important things in this world. And yet . . . God has been so good to me.
And I feel silly for saying all this, and I hate that I can't help but speak in generalities when I have so many wonderful specifics I could share, but God has been good to me. I must praise Him for being so faithful.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for loving God.