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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Dreamland


I wrote this in May. And I'm very tired, and have wretched insomnia, and found this in my drawer. In my tired delusion, I remembered and identified with the sentiment that was on my brain when I first jotted it down. I'm hesitant to call it poetry - the first part half is words and phrases that built a picture of what I was feeling; the second half is more of a lyrical analysis of my initial musings . . . I guess what I'm trying to say it was written strictly stream-of-consciousness, and I'm not sure what it means. Fun is not quite the right word, but in my own way I enjoyed writing it. And yes, I needed to explain that, thank you for indulging me. That is all. I may delete this in the morning. 
the intoxicating dullness
where practicality dies
it all can seem so tempting
but you can't just close your eyes

disjoined and random
along for the ride
the topsy-turvy punch drunk love
sends you sprawling

scattered intensity overwhelms
fractured ambitions glitter
insubstantial pining wans
is the harshness heightened reality
or something else entirely?

is the lens a dusty pane
or a blinding prism?
are the colors too intense
or merely muted?
clarity and reality clash

electricity and electromagnitivitiy
the charge that holds you in this world
fails elasticity and succeeds fluidity
you're free from the fantasies
but only if you want to be

do you want to be free?
from your dream world and your fantasies?
insubstantial and intangible
lessons you just can't learn
so stop existing and start living

this is the real world
but it looks like a dream world
in that nothing makes sense
you just go along with it
and grab things along the way

what we lack in faeries
we make up for in ghosts
what you could have, should have done
that's not how your battle's won
between the concrete and the figment

in the fantasy versus the unfortunate
there's the magic of mages
and the magic of pessimism
different kinds of blue
different kinds of dirt
different kinds of real

so if you can't escape this dreamland
I'll hit you until you do
sensation doesn't separate the two
but I know you'll know my hand
that's the trick with fantasy land

11 comments:

Kay said...

Please don't delete it, Hayley! It was so lovely. I am going to read it again.
<3

Kay said...

"you're free from the fantasies
but only if you want to be"
wow. i forget that so often.

"this is the real world
but it looks like a dream world
in that nothing makes sense
you just go along with it
and grab things along the way"
mmm. yes, that's me.

i really like this. thanks for sharing it. :)

Micah E. said...

I really like this, stream of consciousness/vocabulary usage (specific language, or intentionally aesthetic vagueness?)

"so if you can't escape this dreamland
I'll hit you until you do
sensation doesn't separate the two
but I know you'll know my hand
that's the trick with fantasy land"

This reminds me of the annoying thing people always do when I try to explain Michael's existence case.

Falling Wings of Glass said...

I wouldn't hesitate to call it poetry if I were you. It's definitely poetry by my definition. However...it confused me. It's definitely chock full of conceits. Whatever it means, though, it's beautiful.

Michael said...

I love it. :D

Luke said...

"do you want to be free?from your dream world and your fantasies?insubstantial and intangiblelessons you just can't learnso stop existing and start living"

I absolutely LOVED this part!

I really enjoyed reading this.

Art said...

My goodness, I love this poem. I had to read it several times through before realizing that I think I identify with it. I went through bewildering waves of thought and emotion, I felt like I was the same way, then I thought I was reading meaning into it too much. I finally thought I understood it, then I realized I missed the whole point. Everything I have to say about it is obvious and rather hollow. My favorite lines:

"is the harshness heightened reality or something else entirely?" I like this line. I am taking it to mean, am I just utterly, subjectively, confused?

This part is brilliant:

"what we lack in faeries
we make up for in ghosts
what you could have, should have done
that's not how your battle's won
between the concrete and the figment"

So, yeah, I feel edified for having read it, appreciative of you posting it, still a little puzzled about what everything means, and wondering most of all how it fits into my world.

<3 (Thank you for indulging my long comment)

Jake said...

"what we lack in faeries
we make up for in ghosts"

This line is simply brilliant.

I am gonna have to reread it to capture the true feeling of it. The first half confused me a bit, but the second half was great.

live2laugh said...

what we lack in faeries
we make up for in ghosts



love that.

this was really good. it struck me as playful and cute. and i like your word usage

Kara B. said...

Wow. It's really cool. Can Chapman or I put it to music? :)

Hayley said...

Hah, if you want to, go for it, Kara.