I wrote this in May. And I'm very tired, and have wretched insomnia, and found this in my drawer. In my tired delusion, I remembered and identified with the sentiment that was on my brain when I first jotted it down. I'm hesitant to call it poetry - the first part half is words and phrases that built a picture of what I was feeling; the second half is more of a lyrical analysis of my initial musings . . . I guess what I'm trying to say it was written strictly stream-of-consciousness, and I'm not sure what it means. Fun is not quite the right word, but in my own way I enjoyed writing it. And yes, I needed to explain that, thank you for indulging me. That is all. I may delete this in the morning.
the intoxicating dullness
where practicality diesit all can seem so temptingbut you can't just close your eyesdisjoined and randomalong for the ridethe topsy-turvy punch drunk lovesends you sprawlingscattered intensity overwhelmsfractured ambitions glitterinsubstantial pining wansis the harshness heightened realityor something else entirely?is the lens a dusty paneor a blinding prism?are the colors too intenseor merely muted?clarity and reality clashelectricity and electromagnitivitiythe charge that holds you in this worldfails elasticity and succeeds fluidityyou're free from the fantasiesbut only if you want to bedo you want to be free?from your dream world and your fantasies?insubstantial and intangiblelessons you just can't learnso stop existing and start livingthis is the real worldbut it looks like a dream worldin that nothing makes senseyou just go along with itand grab things along the waywhat we lack in faerieswe make up for in ghostswhat you could have, should have donethat's not how your battle's wonbetween the concrete and the figmentin the fantasy versus the unfortunatethere's the magic of magesand the magic of pessimismdifferent kinds of bluedifferent kinds of dirtdifferent kinds of realso if you can't escape this dreamlandI'll hit you until you dosensation doesn't separate the twobut I know you'll know my handthat's the trick with fantasy land