Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I hate milk.

Originally posted to Xanga on December 12, 2008

Once upon a time, Hayley was born and the doctor yelled at the mom because Hayley was drinking more apple juice than milk. To which the mom replied that Hayley didn't like milk. To which the doctor replied that she didn't like milk because the mom had bred in her a preference for apple juice. But it didn't matter, because it didn't change the fact that Hayley didn't like milk.

When Hayley was a little older, she started making friends and visiting their homes for playdates and becoming exposed to the ways of the world. And no matter where Hayley went, she was always asked if she wanted a glass of milk. To which Hayley replied that water was fine. But she always felt a little funny for refusing the milk, so occasionally she would say yes and manage to choke down a glass of milk now and again.

Soon Hayley was old enough that she could make her own breakfast, whereupon she immediately stopped having cereal for breakfast. Cinnamon Toast Crunch was way overrated anyway. The choice to abstain from milk & cereal was not a conscious one, but it dawned on Hayley three years later that she had not had a bowl of cereal in quite some time, and she couldn't remember why. She had only pleasant memories of eating cereal. Why not?

That fateful day, Hayley poured herself a bowl of cereal she had never tried before but was certain she would like. Das rite, Frosted Mini Wheats. Can't go wrong! She checked the expiration date on the milk to verify it was nowhere near being bad, and she poured herself just a very little bit of milk. And she ate her cereal. And it was gross. The taste of milk burdened her palate even after the cereal was gone. She remembers now why she stopped eating cereal. It was because she really does hate milk and always has. As much as she tried to fight it, the animosity lives on.

For the record, that fateful day was today.

Did you know that humans are the only creatures who continue to drink milk even after they're weaned? I'm just saying, maybe if we ate our fruits and vegetables like adults we wouldn't need to keep drinking milk to keep us healthy. At any rate, milk is gross. Just the very concept skeeves me out, and the taste is even worse. Can you really blame me for hating milk? It's unnatural.

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